Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Who Killed BB?

Obviously I am not here to give you the answer. How would I know?
In fact I have my share of questions, that have been robbing me of a good night's sleep. The UN committee took two years to decide that the murder of BB could have been prevented.
Let me give them a good news. All crime can be prevented!
Why did uncle Zardari give out 10 crore Rupees to the foreigners. They could have easily delegated me and my best friend. We would also give him the same results, which he so vehemently desired.
Now that the Committee has not discovered the real murderer, shouldn't we ask them to return the public money. It is enough to set up a small power plant. Even royal fans come back with money back guarantee now.
And why is Musharaf in the line of fire again. Just because he looks suspicious, doesn't mean he is behind all the malice.The government did advice BB to stop her rampant campaigning. And of course, the Government didn't call her and suggest that she come out of that car roof. She came out of her free will. I admit it was brave of her to ignore the threats. But she didn't have the right to risk the lives of other people, who died due to her on the 18th October and later in December.
However, it was a very sad and insecure day for the country. And one thing that the then Government should be made accountable for , is how they handled this crisis. They turned the political turmoil into an economic one, and virtually the whole country came to a violent stand-still. Such a vigorous stand-still hadn't even been observed when Queid-e-Azam died!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The 18th Amendment

Pakistani democracy has come a long way, in the last two years. It has in fact, become speedier then is easily manageable.
The 18th Amendment is a sad affair. Its worst than watching your 40 year old son stuck in an anal stage.
So many clauses became controversial. It is all over the papers. And the legislature on the other hand gave it a super majority.
In a country that is corruption struck, and politicians are motivated by vested interests, it is hardly impressive anymore , to see political parties align on a bill that caused havoc. ( yes, many people lost their life and property in protests against changing NWFP's name).
It was amusing to see the name of Zia-ul-Haq wiped out as the president. The man declared martial law and became the longest lasting ruler in Pakistani history, and PPP still has trouble digesting it. ( Hajmola can work!) Just like Zia removed Mr. Bhutto's name from textbooks.When will we stop fiddling with history and attempting to produce a home-made version of everything? Mr. Bhutto's own ascend in power is was dubious enough. Remember, he came in power as a Cavilian Martial law administrator or God knows what...

We are still stuck at ideologies, names, redundant petty politics, while the clock is ticking the future away from us. They took 60+ years to change a province's name? Why now? When we display some mental and emotional growth? Is the political anal stage everlasting?

One can read more on the amendment here:
Full text is here:

Saturday, April 17, 2010

RIP Dr.Israr

It was a sad news on the 14th of April. Dr. Israr had been around all my life. He got my parents married ( recited the Nikkah), named me and said the funeral prayer of a beloved. And of course, all my Eid days started with him and his "Khutba" in the windy and sunlit Lawrence garden.
He was a hardliner. Perhaps the most conservative of all religious scholars.
In these modern times, I too found the lack of a T.V/ radio in his household, the swiftness with which they married all their children, gender segregation and what not. But there was of course a lot more to him. He was a historian and an interpretor of the Quran and Hadith.
And then I fear, these matters are private. He never came chasing me with a gun, to do what he wants me too.
His voice was thick, crisp and angry. On one or two occasions I said the Eid prayer behind some other maulvi.And what a drag! No mention of politics, war on terror, Americanization, the Afghan war, dictatorship and what not. Dr. was an authority on all the above and more. In the middle of a speech, he would quote Iqbal lucidly. Sometimes the Eid lecture "Khutba", mandatory for Muslims to listen to, would go on for a very long time. Amidst butterflies, flowers and sweaty women, I sat at the back, listening to the angry old scholarly dreamer.
His grave is some distance from my place, under the shadow of a power plant, visible from the road, dressed in flowers. Sad. He has had a connection with me, and yet he probably doesn't even know.
I encountered this community on Facebook. " Shut the barking Dr. Israr". Of course I couldn't appreciate it. That's too much of an insult to angry old man. Let alone a scholar. Rest in Peace Dr. Israr. You will be missed.

A blog claimed that Dr. Israr called a semi-naked journalist Haramzadi ( illegitimate) once. Here is a staunch follower's reply to it:

Mohammed Ashfaq-ur-Rahman Siddiqui said...
Haramzadi = harami ki zaat ; ya harami ki aulad. “West ne haramzadi ka huliya badal diya hai.” If this reported were to be wearing decent clothes, dr. saab wudnt have called her a 'haramzadi'. now i kno u haramzadi type women wud be hung on the point wht according to me or how do i define decent clothes. its how women should cover their body as prescribed by Islamic shariah. if you call yourself a muslim and do not follow this, then u r haramzadi. u r a haramzadi as rightly pointed out by dr. saab. dont feel sorrow at dr. saab's comment. be grateful tht he corrected u. and try to carry urslf wid dignity and honor and grace wherever u r out reporting. know islam before posting wht ur filthy mind and stinking mouth utter anything directed towards as prominent persona as dr. saab. Fear Allaah and ask for his blessings to guide us all towards the path of righteousness.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

If Kyrgyzstan, Why not Pakistan?

A few days back, the Government in Kyrgystan was ousted by its people. The country was suffering from increased energy prices ( hint hint) , power cuts, poor economic conditions ( rings a bell?) and corruption.
This is not a suggestion for the opposition to topple the Government over. However, the people need to wake up and stand united. There is growing violence and frustration in the society now. Rather then burning tires and inhaling carcinogens, why not peacefully protest , in thousands if not millions. The Government needs to wake up.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Pakistan gets an Indian Bhabhi!

My excitement has soared high enough to burst through the ozone layers, into space. The nation forgot the grief of the power cuts (20 hours), inflation ( meat is Rs.440 per kg) and 52(b) on this auspicious occasion. The naive heart of Sania Mirza is about to be wed-locked with the corrupt heart of Shoaib Malik.

Firstly it is unimportant. The media is selling it. On some days, 15 to 20 minutes of each headline carry this gibberish. Secondly, the last marriage of Shoaib was a mess. If he was married, why deny it? His poor ex is now left alone after this bogus publicity. Bhaiya  has match-fixing and brawling problem so that the PCB banned him, likes discos, has an ex wife  who claims aborted his child while he started an affair with another girl- why is this girl marrying him?

Both the players have little sports left in them. So the two should cash it while they are still worth something. I hope they become family planning ambassadors as the Social welfare Minister suggested. Sania Bhabhi can promote birth control pill ads and Shoaib can advertise "Saathi" condoms. If Tiger Woods can, why can't he?
But after some months, or else we will switch to PTV again. The nation has had too much of Malik and Bhabhi ji...!
Bhabi and Co

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Noble Earth Hour

On 27 March this year, the World planned an Earth Hour. In this one hour, the Earthlings were supposed to come down to normal behavior and stop ravaging mother Earth. So the World went to cut down electricity usage.
The noblewoman in me woke up, my electricity hunger subsided as if I was suffering from Anorexia. I told myself tomorrow is the day to make dad proud.
But some rascal probably overheard my exalted plan to attain thus spiritual elevation and leaked it to WAPDA, for the electricity hardly returned that day. Now Pakistan is also conserving electricity. Not because it wants to save Earth. But because hardly any electricity is left. To top it all, doctors are beating journalists, lawyers are beating the judges and police and the police is beating the convicts, who then go out and beat the students and teachers alike. How can you expect the Government to focus on power plants with all this going on? And now even Shoaib Malik about to be hijacked by the Indian police. Zardari uncle needs a break.
Bijli as electricity is known in Pakistan, has become quite a seductress. It might not return on time, but will go out punctually. The moment you become used to it, she betrays. My computer is suffering from some battery weakness, the doctor said a minor shock will kill it. So I am waiting for the lethal shock. But of course, on the 27th, I felt betrayed by WAPDA, for stealing my chance to feel altruistic and generous.


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