Can you imagine the ground sliding away from beneath you?
Well that’s what the death of a loved one is like. I remember when someone died…I kept waiting that he will return but it never happened of course. Slowly I was forced to accept. But there is a secret longing, to bring those people back from the other World, meet them one more time.
It’s good to be emotional but in such a situation, when you loose someone, rationality can be more then a little help.
1) Is the person better off as dead….?
Many diseases like cancer, Aids etc are very painfull in their last stages and death usually brings a lot of comfort…
According to the religion( though not science) comas are also painfull because the person is only partially dead…
2) Express your grief…..shed as many tears as you want, scream , anything……holding back your emotions might bury the pain which might keep re-emerging at later stages in life…
3) Limit your mourning time…Islam has wisely prescribed three days….DO NOT observe any further rituals like abstaining from TV, or make-up… bring your life back to normal as soon as possible…these will just remind you of the grief…..
4) Miss the person as he was alive , not as he was dead or unwell…rather then thinking of his suffering on the death bed or the accident….think of the positive characteristics of the person, what you learnt from them and how this person made life better….
5) keep in your mind that the person is temporarily separated and death is everyone’s right and everyone will have it fulfilled . One day we will be permanently united..
6) Whatever you do as a consequence of the death, do ask yourself if this would make the dead one happy..
I have a neighbor who killed her two daughters and herself after her husband died.
Was this what her husband had wanted her to do?....Most of your loved ones , would want you to be happy and healthy despite their death.